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10 BEST RANDOM ELECTION ITEMS

by Jordan Green

10 BEST RANDOM ELECTION ITEMS

RANDOMLY COMPILED’ 

PIZZA

Amailer for Democratic US Congressional District 6 candidate Tony Foriest listed seven ways Congress has failed the nation and received an abysmal approval rating, contrasting it with reasons to vote for Foriest over incumbent Republican Howard Coble. One reason Foriest said Congress is broken: It “declared PIZZA a VEGETABLE!” Voters were then assured that “Tony LIKES pizza, but knows it’s not a vegetable.”

FAKE CANDIDATES

The Greensboro City Council election is still a year away, but that didn’t stop someone from launching her campaign. Well, sort of. I was alerted to a Facebook page for Diana Feron, a 25-year-old stripper running for District 5. The conservative divorcee believes in “Satanism” and posted about issues from the president to the noise ordinance, but we are almost certain the account is a fake. Her photos are pulled from clothing ads and show different people, and we can find no paper trail to a real person. Why do people make these?

GAS

Call me a conspiracy theorist, but we’ve seen a rapid and significant decline in gas prices as the election draws closer. I distinctly remember the same thing happening before the last presidential election, and my editor agrees the idea of a correlation isn’t too far out there. Let’s hope the price stays down.

THE HUMOR

Tina Fey’s mockery of Sarah Palin was easily one of the best parts of the 2008 election, and this year’s Republican vice-presidential nominee gave us some laughs as well. From the bad lipreading mockery of his campaign video journal to the absurd pictures of him working out, Paul Ryan has kept us entertained. It’s notoriously easy to laugh at Joe Biden’s expense as well, but I laughed harder at a Photoshopped image of Obama giving a press conference while standing behind a podium naked.

STUMP SONGS

In case you missed last week’s show review of the NC A&T University homecoming concert, artist Trey Songz exhorted the crowd to re-elect Obama. Despite their collaboration on the celebratory jam “My President,” neither homecoming headliner Young Jeezy or legendary Nas — performing at Moogfest in Asheville — mentioned the election. Homecoming concert star 2 Chainz, who apparently has been active in helping eligible felons re-register to vote, was silent on the issue too. Alicia Keys came to A&T to stump for Obama, but I’m unaware of any musicians pitching the Republican nominee to Triad residents.

OUR READERSHIP

YES! Weekly undoubtedly picked up many new readers this election cycle as we expanded the scope and quality of our coverage. With Jordan in Winston-Salem and comprehensively covering High Point, plus compliments from various Guilford County Republicans about fairness in coverage, it’s clear that our elections reporting gets eyeballs. The proof is in the numbers — a Republican primary article I wrote about the District 6 Guilford County Commissioner race is one of the most read articles on our website ever. Welcome, readers!

DH GRIFFIN

Speaking of council, DH Griffin invited Greensboro City Council members and other elected officials to its annual fish fry held recently. Though DH Griffin Jr. and Sr. have been major campaign contributors to council races, no members were in sight, though Guilford County Commissioner and commercial real estate broker John Parks and Sheriff BJ Barnes were present. Romney campaign signs adorned the walls of the mammoth room where food was served.

GOODBYE TRUMP?

Maybe now that the election is over, Donald Trump will shut the F up. Wishful thinking I know, but I am so sick of hearing about this rich scumbag, who reiterated his offer to donate $5 million if the president agreed to his irrelevant demands. Trump tweeted that he would extend the deadline of his offer due to Hurricane Sandy. We live in a sick society when someone can amass so much wealth while others struggle to survive, let alone play games with that wealth when millions are being threatened by a massive storm instead of being a halfway decent person and pitching in.

IT’S OVER

Covering the election, worrying about your candidates and knocking on doors is tiring enough. It’s time to take down the yard signs, end the debates and pull ourselves out of the vortex. And now back to your regularly scheduled program. Until…

THE NEXT RACE

We’ve already started talking about the Winston-Salem and Greensboro city council races, planning to actually release our voter guide before early voting begins next fall. Jordan Green has written on our blog (yesweeklyblog. blogspot.com) about a perceived challenge to Denise Adams for Winston-Salem’s North Ward after her refusal to support a brief requesting a new trial for Kalvin Michael Smith. In Greensboro, there have already been murmurs about who will be running in District 5 and who may challenge Zack Matheny in District 3.

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