Amusé Bouche

by Brian Clarey

Up in the frozen Arctic, scientists have created the Global Seed Vault, which houses stores of every type of seed in the world – just in case we accidentally wipe out all the planet’s flora by… oh, I don’t know… watering the fields with energy drink or some other foreseeable catastrophe.

But I have to ask myself if the human race deserves saving when I hear the case of Ryan Kropp, a line cook at a steakhouse in the West Bend neighborhood of Milwaukee. Kropp, in an act of… I don’t know… rebellious aggression?… is accused of clipping some of his facial hair and lacing a customer’s steak with it, announcing to a co-worker, “These are my pubes.”

Nothing funny about that!

Here in the Triad, our line cooks are all exceptional and clean-shaven.

I know personally some of the guys on the line at Bert’s Seafood Grille in Greensboro, where I worked for a number of years, and all of their steaks and seafood dishes are hair free. Check out the half-price peel-and-eat shrimp special that runs through March, or reserve a seat on Easter Sunday for Chef Mary Lacklen’s Southern-style Easter lunch.

The Elyse Wine Dinner on Thursday at Muse looks spectacular – seven courses in all, featuring diver scallops with gingered apricot, chicken and veal sweetbreads roulade, rack of lamb crusted with Szechuan peppers, butternut squach terrine, five-spice duck breast potstickers and petit fours, all paired with selections from the Elyse Wines catalog. It looks and sounds incredible.

Slow Food Piedmont gets up to speed this month with two events on its calendar: On Thursday, a small fruit production workshop in Goldsboro at 9 a.m.; and on Saturday the Organic Growers’ School Spring Conference at Blue Ridge Community College in Flat Rock. See for more information.

Earth Fare in Greensboro offers a couple takes on pasta: lemon gnocchi with peas and spinach on Wednesday at noon and hearty pasta and beans on Friday at 6:30 p.m.

And Winston-Salem’s Whole Foods Market hosts a seminar by O Bay Organics on “the rewards and challenges of cloth diapering.” It takes place on Thursday. Call 336.723.7066 for more information.

And if Ryan Kropp shows up, be sure to let me know.

Our pubic hair bandit, by the way, faces a felony charges for putting as foreign object in food. The charge holds a maximum penalty of three-and-a-half years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

I think it should be more for pubes.