Be There Every Day, Something Cool
TUESDAY, Jan. 8
Ten for Teens Read-a-thon Slam
McGirt-Horton Branch Library; 2509 Philips Ave, Greensboro; 336.373.5810; 5 p.m.; FREE
Hey nerds! We know you’ve already finished the reading for the spring semester, and while the football team’s homework isn’t going to do itself, you’ve still got a few more weeks before they fall behind in pre-algebra. So in the meantime, why not put those book-learnin’ skills to a use besides making you a swirlie magnet? Read 10 books in 10 weeks while competing for prizes, sharing your opinions and wallowing in the mutual torment of hormonal angst.
WEDNESDAY, Jan. 9
The 411; 411 N. Cherry St., Winston-Salem; 336.725.1411; 8:15 p.m.; $3 women, $5 men
Ay, papi. You know all that time you’ve been spending at the gym, trying to get back in shape for the ladies? Well, turns out you’re a sucker. Instead of busting a capillary breaking 250 on the bench, you could have just cut out the middle man and worked up a sweat while collecting phone numbers at the same time. Trust us; we’ve been. It’s a sea of women who’re either single or pissed at their boyfriends for not coming with them.
THURSDAY, Jan. 10
New Year’s Resolution Jump Off
University of Phoenix; 1500 Pinecroft Rd, Greensboro; 336.291.1514; 11:30 a.m.; FREE
In the interest of catering to that coveted unemployable/menial-labor demographic, we’d like to give them an opportunity to move up in the world. The U of P (as the kids call it) is holding an open house of sorts, offering degrees in nursing, accounting, anesthesiology, particle physics, 19th-century French impressionism, haiku, cat massage and, of course, criminal justice. We know stacking boxes and being forbidden to unionize 60 hours a week at Wal-Mart is rewarding and all, but give it a shot.
FRIDAY, Jan. 11
Hormonal Imbalance… A Mood Swinging Musical Revue
Stevens Center of NCSA; 405 W. Fourth St., Winston-Salem; 336.721.1945; 7:30 p.m.; $24-$28
What’s funnier than jokes about hot flashes and no-good, cheating men? Okay, besides that. And that. And that… okay okay, we get your point. But look, you know how your mom’s been bugging you that you never call or visit? Well this should get you off the hook at least until Mother’s Day, which we all know you’re going to forget, again (sigh – when we think of how she was in a drugged-up stupor for two hours giving birth to you).
SATURDAY, Jan. 12
Make a Difference: The 3rd Annual Broadway Cares Benefit Concert
Yeager Recital Hall; Elon University, Elon; 336.278.7271; 4 & 7 p.m.; FREE, but donations greatly appreciated, ya cheapskates
Why the musical theater community would have such a keen interest in finding a cure for AIDS we’re not sure, but this weekend they’re putting on two shows in “what will be an exciting evening of entertainment.” And while we doubt they’ll be performing any numbers from Team America: World Police, it’s still worth going, if only to help put us back on the road to where the most we have to fear from crazy anonymous sex is a burning sensation and a course of antibiotics.
SUNDAY, Jan. 13
Great Train Expo
Dixie Classic Fairgrounds; 421 W. 27th St., Winston-Salem; 336.725.5635; 10 a.m.; Adults $7, Kids 12 and under FREE
Hiii! I’m Dougie and I’m going to the train show this weekend. Yay! Trains! There’s gonna be big trains and more bigger trains. And I’m gonna get a hot dog and a soda and my main man Antoine from the group home is going with me. High five Antoine! It’s gonna be fun. Then we’re gonna watch wrestling. Yay! Wrestling!
MONDAY, Jan. 14
Wee Little Kids on the Ball
Greensboro Children’s Museum; 220 N. Church St., Greensboro; 336.510.5747; 10:45 a.m.; FREE with GCM Admission ($6) or Membership
Maybe it’s genetic, maybe it’s the fact that they spent the first year of their lives just laying around doing nothing, but your toddler is looking a little pudgy these days. Fortunately GCM has devised an exercise program for kids ages 3-5 years “targeting balance, coordination, movement, flexibility, strength and cardio.” Just in time too, cause the Junior Miss pageant season’s coming up and amphetamines and cigarettes can only do so much.
TUESDAY, Jan. 15
Classic Movie: The Blues Brothers
Carolina Theatre; 310 S. Greene St., Greensboro; 336.333,2605; 7:30 p.m.; $5
How you could have grown up in this country and not seen this movie is an isolationist feat on the level of Ted Kaczynski, so clearly this is not going to be about re-introducing a classic to a generation ignorant of its cinematic past. No, this is going to be about getting liquored up at the Rhino Club across the street beforehand and then hooting and cheering along with the crowd. Why should those Rocky Horror freaks have all the fun?