Comic relief provided by Comedy Zone

by Lindsay Craven

Stone walls and pillars adorn the Comedy Zone in Greensboro. As you walk through the door you cross a bridge covering a pool filled with koi. The room is lit with a combination of candlelight, dim wall lights and the glow of black lights. The room is filled with large groups celebrating birthdays and bachelor/ bachelorette parties, and couples, several of whom obviously took advantage of the early opening time and are adequately intoxicated to prove it. As the show begins, rotating lights dance from the ceiling and 2 Unlimited’s “Get Ready For This” blares over the speakers. For some reason the song plays in its entirety before an announcer comes over the speaker to introduce the host for the night, Chris Wiles. A lanky guy with shaggy black hair and bug eyes ascends the stage. He sports a cream-colored blazer, orange print T-shirt and blue jeans. He welcomes the crowd and asks if anyone is celebrating a birthday or bachelorette party for the night. The room erupts. He acknowledges a group of girls against the back wall and the birthday girl, Emmanuel, informs him that she is celebrating her 22 nd birthday. He tells her that he thinks he has seen porn that she’s in. He moves on to another group at the front of the room where a soon-to-be bride and groom are sharing a dual bachelor and bachelorette party. He laughs, making a whipping motion with his mic cord and imitating the bachelorette; “These are the last titties you’re ever going to see.” She quickly corrects him by letting him know they are going to the strip club after the show. He asks if he can marry her. After acknowledging the other celebrations taking place in the room he shares the club rules with us. They are simple: Keep your table conversation to minimum and turn off your cell phones. He introduces the first comedian, Donnell Keith Grey. A tall, bald black man takes the stage and surveys the crowd with compliments on how beautiful and how white everyone is. He tells us not to worry though — he is a Caucasian-friendly comedian and he won’t be telling jokes about our bad dancing or funny way of talking. Grey has a slow start that picks up after a few minutes. He tells us about working in a porn shop as a stoned 21-year-old. He liked to approach timid women in the store like a used car salesman from Alabama. He demonstrates by selling the Orgasmatron 5000 that runs on gas and even has a cuddle feature. He shares more of his past by telling us about his first marriage that took place after a night of drinking and pot smoking in Jamaica. “Next time I get married I’m doing it right,” he says. “I’m going to Vegas.” For now, Grey is dating and shares that he has discovered that going to gay bars is much more cost-efficient than straight bars. While he shells out money for random women’s drinks all night only to go home lonely at the straight bars, he gets to turn the tables at the gay bars. “I can go in and have my drinks bought all night, which is great because I’m cheap and I have an alcohol addiction,” Grey says. “Then I get to go home that night with my ass intact.” Grey wraps up his time and the crowd excitedly welcomes back a slightly more intoxicated Wiles. This time he has plans for a bachelorette sitting at the table in the back. He calls her to the stage and is a little taken aback when the velvet-clad, veil wearing woman steps up. He asks her if she has ever given a blow job and she quickly replies, “Hell yeah!” A mischievous grin comes across his face and asks if she wants to give one tonight. “Only if it’s a drink,” she says. He produces a shot glass filled with Bailey’s Irish Cream and topped to the brim with whipped cream. He places a chair in the middle of the stage and instructs her to kneel in front of it but as she gets ready to take the shot he stops her and quickly takes a seat in

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Donnell Keith Grey debates the pros and cons of dating cougarsduring his performance at the Comedy Zone on July 18. (photo by LindsayCraven)