Everything’s coming up roses


For our first issue of 2007, we published in YES! Weekly some predictions for the new year by area psychic Mrs. Grace, who prophesied, among other things, that Axl Rose’s opus Chinese Democracy would fail to come out for another calendar year (so far, so good) and that the Triad would not see any major economic incentive packages (nullified by the Honda deal last week).

She also predicted a good year for President Bush, though he had just come off a November election that was devastating to his party and held a 30 percent or so approval rating.

“It’s gonna go in [Bush]’s favor,” she said. “Whatever his plans are, whatever he’s wishing, I feel it’s gonna work out in his favor.”

And though the year is not quite two months old, things do indeed seem to be falling in line for our president.

Last week, just when fervor over “global warming” was starting to reach a scientifically endorsed peak, a cold front swept through much of the country leaving behind piles of snow, record-low wind chill numbers and more than a few corpses.

Take that, science.

Those uppity Dixie Chicks may have won five Grammys, but not without inspiring a backlash from the good folks in Nashville who make up the international country music cartel (and a goodly portion of our man’s voter base).

And it looks like nasty granny Helen Thomas, who constantly hounds this administration with questions they’d rather not answer, may lose her front-row seat in the White House press room, possibly to Fox News.

Not only that, North Korea agreed to dismantle its nuclear arms program for a simple payoff. And Bush’s big-business buddies got a real plum when the Securities and Exchange Commission took action to protect large corporations and executives from lawsuits for fraud brought about by investors.

It didn’t get much play in a week that had people reeling from the death of a buxom starlet and a spaceman’s love triangle, but the SEC brief filed with the Supreme Court, which suggests a stronger shield between companies and investors who try to sue them for fraud, set finance nerd tongues to wagging all over the investment community.

It seems enough time has passed since the Enron scandal of 2001 that most regular people have forgotten or moved on.

He’s using the same tactic in the Middle East. Even as the administration slowly concedes that Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11, they are sounding the drums again, readying for an effort against Iran. Why? Because the Iranian government is sending weapons into Iraq. Maybe.

“Here’s my point,” the president said at a press conference last week, “either they knew or didn’t know, and what matters is that they’re there. What’s worse – that the government knew or that the government didn’t know?”

It sounds pretty thin right now, but if Mrs. Grace knows what she’s talking about, look for the tanks to start rolling on Tehran by the first day of Ramadan.