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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

by Rob Brezsny

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): This is an excellent time to celebrate the pleasures of emptiness…to extol the virtues of the blank slate… to be open to endless possibilities butcommitted to none… to bask in the freedom of not having to be anything, anyone oranywhere. Are you smart enough to need no motto to live by? Are you resourcefulenough to rely on nothing but the raw truth of the present moment? If so, you willthrive in the coming days.SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):During the dialog about health care in theUS, certain highly relevant facts are neverdiscussed. For example, it’s ludicrous forright-wingers to fear that a government-runhealth system would freshly infect our capitalistsystem with the stain of socialism.The truth is, America has longhad the biggest socialist enterprise inthe world: its sprawling military establishment,which is completely paidfor by taxpayer dollars and run by thegovernment! Another unacknowledgedfact is this: The single smarteststrategy for financing universal healthcare (as well as dramatically improvingthe economy) would be to reducemilitary expenditures. Americansdon’t seem to realize that theirmonstrously huge military empire isa case of supreme overkill: It girdlesthe globe in ways that are unprecedented inthe history of civilization. I bring this to yourattention, Scorpio, to illustrate the way that aseemingly serious discussion can be thrownoff course and rendered unproductive whenit ignores critical information. Please makesure nothing like that happens in your personalsphere in the coming weeks.SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):In the coming weeks, your medicinaleffect and your power to incite changewill be peaking simultaneously. You mayheal people by shaking their certaintiesor you may scare people as you motivatethem to shed their lazyapproaches. You could bea stringently benevolentforce or a disruptivefixer of broken things.My only advice for youis to work hard to stayhumble. The potencyof your influence mighttempt you to get full ofyourself, and that wouldundermine the beauty ofyour impact.CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):I’m embarrassed to confess that when I’mshopping for an herbal supplement I’venever bought before, my choice is undulyinfluenced by how much I like the packaging.For example, I might opt for the brassyorange and white bottle with bold blacklettering over the brand with the washed-outblue-green color scheme and delicate purplefont. I hope you won’t fall victim to anyversion of my folly, Capricorn. It’s especiallyimportant that you make your decisionsbased on a piercing analysis of the innercontents, not a superficial survey of the outerdisplay.AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):Study the following facts to derive oracularclues about your upcoming destiny. 1)Some bacteria are inimical to human beings,but others are friendly, like the creaturesthat inhabit your intestine and help youdigest the food you eat. 2) There are snakeswhose venom is poisonous in large dosesbut healing in small amounts. 3) The term“demon” is derived from the ancient Greekterm “daimon,” which referred not to anevil supernatural being but to a benevolentguardian spirit that conferred blessings on aperson.PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): On thewebsite “Yahoo! Answers,” readers posequestions that are answered by other readerswho have expertise on the subject. In arecent entry, a young woman asked, “Is therea spell to become a mermaid that actuallyworks?” Of the 50-plus replies, most aresnarky and mean, ridiculing the asker of thequestion, and not a single one gives usefulinformation. I encourage you to offer yourown insight on the subject sometime soon.(Go to tinyurl.com/mdclt4.) You are nowat the peak of your ability to act, think, feel,love and dream like a mythical sea creature.ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): JonathanLee Riches is renowned for filing numerouslawsuits in US courts. Some of his targetsare actual living people, like Martha Stewart,George W. Bush and Steve Jobs. But he hasalso gone after defendants like Nostradamus,Che Guevara, the Eiffel Tower, the ex-planetPluto, the Holy Grail, the Appalachian Trailand the Garden of Eden. This would be agood time for you to draw inspiration fromhis example. I don’t mean that you shouldbecome a litigious fanatic, but rather that youshould seek redress and vindication fromthose people, places and things that havenot had your highest interests in mind. Thiscould take the form of a humorous message,a compassionate prank or an odd gift.Remember, too, that old saying: Success isthe best revenge.TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20):Thiswould be an excellent time for you to learnhow to brew your own beer (tinyurl.com/zteca) or build your own telescope (tinyurl.com/2yert5) or teach yourself how to operatea forklift (tinyurl.com/lgoyk5). Your abilityto master practical new skills is at a peak,and your need to develop more self-relianceis more pressing than usual. Once you raiseyour confidence levels, you might evenmove on to more challenging tasks, likeconcocting your own home-made flu shot(tinyurl.com/kmchwx) or reconfiguring theway your brain works (tinyurl.com/lxhuapor tinyurl.com/ns5vhv).GEMINI (May 21-June 20): NovelistJames Patterson has signed a deal witha publisher to churn out 17 new booksbetween now and the end of 2012. (By comparison,it took me six years to write my firstbook, nine years to write my second and fiveyears for my third.) According to my readingof the astrological omens, you Geminis willhave James Patterson-like levels of fecundityfor at least the next four weeks. I suggest youemploy that good mojo to create a masterpieceor two.CANCER (June 21-July 22): As Igaze out the window of my home office, Isee a vast wetland crossed by a creek thatoriginates in the bay. At high tide, the creekis as wide as a river. At low tide, it’s as narrowas a village street. Sometimes it flowsnorth vigorously, while at other times itsurges south with equal force. Now and thenit’s perfectly still. Its hues are a constantlymutating blend of grey, green, blue andbrown, and at sundown and sunrise they’rejoined by tinges of pink, purple and orange.As a Cancerian, I find this intimate spectacleto be both comforting and invigorating. It’sa reflection of my own ever-shifting moods,a reminder that I’m a watery creature whosefluidic changeability is natural and healthy.What I wish for you, my fellow Crab, is thatin the coming week you will also surroundyourself with prompts that help you to be atpeace with who you really are.LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What exactlyis a “wild goose chase,” anyway? Doesit refer to a frenetic and futile hunt for anelusive prey that’s never caught? Or might italso mean the meandering pursuit of a trickyquarry that after many convoluted twists andturns results in success and generates a lot ofeducational fun along the way? Either definitioncould apply to your wild goose chasein the next three weeks, Leo. Which one willultimately win out will probably depend ontwo things: 1. how well you detect the falseleads you get; 2. how determined you are tobe amused rather than frustrated by all thetwists and turns.VIRGO (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22): Yourtime is up, Virgo. No further stalling will beallowed. We need your answer now: Willyou or will you not take advantage of themessy but useful offer that is on the table?Don’t ask for an extension, because youain’t getting one. Please take advantage ofthis chance to prove that you love yourselftoo much to get hoodwinked and abused byperfectionism. Be brave enough to declareyour allegiance to the perspective articulatedby the mathematician Henri Poincaré:“There are no solved problems. There areonly more-or-less solved problems.”

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