Family Circus Star, Bil, the latest pop icon to be ‘duh, winning’

(Illustrations by Sarah Jedry)

What the Sunday Comic stars are saying:

Andy Capp: “I spent a lotta’ time with ‘im in re’ab, and ‘onestly neither one of us ‘ave a problem; we two are a lotta’ like – Bil ‘n me are generous and we both like Grey Goose Vodka and goddesses.”

Cathy: “Ack!” Bill the Cat: “Ack!” Charlie Brown: “Good Grief” Garfield: “I have a Goddess drooling over me too, his name is Odie” Hobbes (from Calvin and Hobbes):

“It’s like Bil’s life is a big game of Calvin Ball, he’s making up some meshuggeh [crazy] rules as he goes!” Despite the negative press, Bil has cashed in. The following is a transcript from an online interview with adventurous, female reporter, Branda Starr.

Brenda Starr: If not for you, who was the suitcase full of cocaine for?

Bil: Ida Know

Brenda Starr: Who then has the drug problem in your house?

Bil: Nobody… well Not Me Brenda Starr: You seem to be losing control. Are you?

Bil: I am tired of pretending that my life isn’t perfect and just winning every frickin’ Sunday. I’m in color 1 out of 7 days. What is that? Duh, winning.

Ida Know, Nobody, and Not Me refused comment.

(April fools)’