Getting Sucked in by MySpace
My name is Lauren. And I am addicted to myspace.com.
Okay, I just had to get that out in the open. The first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem.
Wait, I should see if I have any messages on my MySpace account, so I can give an accurate account of my webpage. Lame excuse to use ‘— also a dead giveaway of addiction.
I’m back. No messages, but my profile views are up to 138. I’m quite the popular little lady.
For those of you who have a life and don’t know what myspace.com is, then let me fill you in. Myspace.com is a vast wasteland of internet blogging, bitching and softcore porn. It is a portal for people to build their own webpages by filling out a simple questionnaire. The questions can be answered as superficially or as intimately as the user would like. The beauty of it all is that you don’t have to be a HTML code geek to have yourself a webpage. The myspace.com geeks do it all for you.
People use the spaces for finding people with similar interests, catching up with friends and networking.
I feel a little embarrassed that I’m so in to it. I hadn’t even heard of the Space until about a month ago. Clarey was hunting around for bands on there. He’d walk by my desk periodically and give me an update on the people that he’d found. I was curious ‘— and we all know what happened to the cat that was curious.
I tried to search the MySpace databases to see if any of my friends were on there. And see this is the part where they screw you ‘— I kept receiving an error message for my search. So I thought if I signed up then it would let me complete the search. I was right, and that’s when I got sucked in. It’s like a cult, or crack. The more you do it the more you want to do it and the more normal it seems.
Wait’… damn, still 138 profile views.
The eclectic group of folks on MySpace could be a psychological study on human nature. There are local bands trying to get their name out to as many people as possible. There are artists, writers, models and even just full-on freaks. Some people are looking for friends, serious relationships, work opportunities or just for other people’s nude photos.
As an example of one of these characters I’ve found, there’s a guy right here in the Triad by the display name of Prophet Samuel. Dude, you know who you are. He’s posted nude photos of himself ‘— with his wobbly bits strategically covered. My questions is: who is more creepy? The Prophet ‘— who has over 40 friends, mostly women ‘— probably snagged by his artistic images. Or am I the weird one ‘—’ the one who can’t stop looking and laughing. I’ve also told about 20 people to check him out, so I’m also adding to his profile views and ego.
I believe this MySpace thing might change the world. It’s keeping me in touch with my sister-in-law in Myrtle Beach. I think she’s a little paranoid that I’m reading her blog, and she’s right ‘— I am. She hasn’t written in it for a while. We’re really different personality-wise, so maybe the Space will bring us closer together. I just don’t want her to feel censored by my face beaming up at her from the friend forum.
I’m also pumped that I found one of my best friends from way back. The last time I saw her, she was late for my wedding three years ago and she wasn’t able to stay for the reception. For years now, when I would talk to one of our mutual friends, I would ask them about her and no one seemed to know anything. I had heard that her parents had divorced. I thought she’d fallen off the face of the earth, and it turns out that she had ‘– well at least out of the northern hemisphere. She’s been in Central America learning Spanish, and then working in an after-school program in an underprivileged community. Now she’s finishing a master’s degree at Seton Hall University in New Jersey. And I found her on MySpace.
See that ‘— MySpace is bringing people closer together, one profile view at a time. Wait’… I’m up to 149.
To comment on this column, e-mail Lauren at lauren @yesweekly.com.