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Greensboro’s Ten Best band sites on myspace.com

by Brian Clarey

The Tremors

Radio is dead. MTV is dead. Arena rock shows? Yep, dead. Ditto for the recording industry and the festival circuit. Music lives on the internet now, and all the savvy and streetwise groups out there use it to push their products and fill their shows. Nearly 50 bands in the Greensboro area have myspace.com pages, and this is one of our favorites. Admittedly, the Tremors make the list just because we love them, but also because their friend list, 1,421 strong, includes Rev. Horton Heat, the Killer himself Mr. Jerry Lee Lewis and a guy from Chattanooga who calls himself ‘“Fret-whore.’”

Killwhitneydead

Killwhitneydead’s brand of growling, anger metal with skanky guitar work and machine-gun drums sits at the top of the Greensboro myspace.com band heap, with the most song plays at 67,619 and the most friends with 4,694. A blurb from the band’s bio: ‘“[Their last album] So Pretty, So Plastic is sinister, filthy porno for your ears, or maybe it’s more like a snuff film. Either way, there’s something very wrong about it and it somehow makes Killwhitneydead’s efforts here nearly perfect.’” They also sell shirts that say: ‘“I am the bastard you won’t forget.’”

Media Violence

We kind of liked the name. And even the blog posts tell a tale: on April 22 Media Violence (who is really just a guy named Patrick McCormick) announced a new CD, Falling Into Flight. The next entry, dated Aug. 6, he announces the sale of some equipment and CDs on eBay to finance studio upgrades. The soundtrack features four good tunes for download and the friend list includes a bevy of goth hotties with names like Doom Cricket, Azrielle, Jaye Vampira and Izzi.

Ed E. Ruger

E-Dot, also known as ‘“Tha Southern Bull’” and ‘“North Crunk’s Finest,’” is the highest-ranking Greensboro hip-hop artist on myspace.com, with more than 10,000 plays and a friend list that exceeds 3,000. Gate City hip-hop notaries Tre’ Stylez, Brandon D and Celinski the Mayor have links. The message board bears sentiments like ‘“what good hustla!’” and ‘“whatup pimpin?’… you pimpin like I’m pimpin?’” Three tunes provide a good showcase of his work, including the bouncy ‘“OK Roll Up’” with Tre’.

The Five L’s

Arguably the most notorious rock outfit in Greensboro, the Five L’s have a dynamic web presence and show diligence in getting the word out about their shows via mechanisms like myspace.com. We like how they have a long list under the heading ‘influences’ but under ‘sounds like’ they have ‘“the Five Ls’” scrolling up the screen. We like the comment list strewn with profane accolades. And we like that they list Jagermeister as their label.

Chainsaw

His numbers for plays and friends are kind of middling and his music is unspectacular, but if we’re going strictly by Chainsaw’s avatar ‘— a picture of himself (he doesn’t list his given name) dressed in a white suit and liberally soused in what we hope is fake blood ‘— there’s something about him we admire. ‘“It’s not a costume, it’s a uniform,’” he writes. The site is eclectic, with a mildly disturbing goat motif and, towards the bottom, an autographed picture of Biff from Back to the Future next to a shot of a surgical stapling.

The Angry Canadiens

This group of home-schooled kids won a battle of the bands at the 2004 Greensboro Youth Council with their brand of Christian garage rock and are trying to parlay it into a career in the biz. It looks promising. The highlight of the site, however, is a dramatic bio written in the third person. Highlights include, ‘“It started when 3 teenagers from the same church, came up with the idea to make a band. But there was only one problem; none of them had instruments,’” and, ‘“Their new songs take rhythm to the next level. Being more than just four-minute riffs to listen to, the newer tracks make you ‘feel’ the song more than anything else.’”

Perfection in Simplicity

While some bands use their sites as an extension of a greater PR machine, others seem to live exclusively on their myspace.com sites. One such band is Perfection in Simplicity, billed as a southern rock/hardcore act. They seem to be new to the scene, with very few plays displayed and a paltry 477 friends. Their list of gigs has just a single entry: something at a skatepark in K-Vegas, and a fan named Bert left this comment: ‘“The show last night was… interesting but still good. I especially liked it when you guys played the same song twice.’”

The Arrival

We like the Arrival for a lot of reasons, chief among them the dedication of their first CD Just Another Freak in the Freak Kingdom to our hero, Hunter S. Thompson, but also their band bios. Drummer Billy Thompson’s bit says, ‘“Billy soon became one of the most feared gangster-country rappers on the planet, which brought attention to several record labels such as ‘we’ll sign anybody records.”” Lead singer Christy’s is a bit more serious and her own myspace.com site has files of her singing show tunes like ‘“Mein Heir’” from Cabaret.

The Malamondos

These guys are a lot of fun, a surf/rockabilly group that describes themselves thusly: ‘“Lust. Beauty. A vicious mind.’” We also dig on their friend list which includes Southern Culture on the Skids and a flock of women from the Carolina Roller Derby league with names like Celia Fate, Hadda ‘Bad’ Day and Roxy Rocket. Not a lot of Greensboro dates on their past gig list and none in their immediate future.

Who did we forget? Make your case to editor@yesweekly.com.

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