Has King of Denial found Fountain of Youth?
Right-wingers take great delight in pointing out the one thing about the Duhcider that infuriates us loopy liberals more than anything else. They see the visceral reaction he provokes in many of us and are dead on the money as to the reason. And, just to show what an open-minded leftie I am, I hereby concede – they’re right. It’s not the endless litany of examples of abuses of power, malfeasance, corruption, deceit, incompetence, dereliction of duty, crimes against humanity and other impeachable offenses that gets to us. It’s not the fact that he has gotten away with lying, cheating and stealing virtually his entire life and landed on his feet each time that sends steam gushing out of our ears. And it’s not the fact that we the people have let him get away with it with little more than passive dissent for eight years minus 564 days, 13 hours, 27 minutes and 17 seconds (yes, I got my countdown clock working again) that drives us over the edge. Rather it’s this: He makes it look so easy and he looks so good doing it. Oh, he says it’s hard work but he’s not the one doing the heavy lifting. It’s like he hits the Easy Button and, poof, there go 20,000 more troops to Iraq; poof, habeus corpus goes bye bye; poof, Tony Snow comes out and makes the bad men go away. What is it about this guy that gives him this unruffled countenance, this insouciance, this nonplussed air of contentment? Is it blissful ignorance because he is so shielded from reality by his tight circle of sycophants? How can he lie so straight-faced with such conviction – knowing that he knows he’s lying and that we know he’s lying – without any visible giveaways or telltale signs, much less concern? At least when Nixon told a big fat whopper his upper lip would start to sweat but, criminy, this guy’s bulletproof. And his hair is perfect. My view is that he has honed it to such a degree that he truly cannot discern truth from fantasy. You’d think that on some level he must know that he’s lying but I really don’t think he does, because if you never tell the truth you have no frame of reference. He is the classic pathological liar, so disconnected from reality that a lie detector wouldn’t register a blip over a provably false assertion such as, oh, “The United States doesn’t torture,” or “I will fire anyone in my administration if they leak classified information.” But even the tightest gauntlet of yes-men cannot shield him from the fact that seven out of 10 Americans despise the ground he slithers on and that the rest of the planet is virtually united in its contempt for him. Yet he jumps out of the Marine One helicopter and sashays across the White House lawn, waving at the onlookers like he’s Santa Claus. And when he waves from atop the steps of Air Force One he acts like he’s the Beatles landing at Kennedy in 1964. I swear, we’ve got Mr. Magoo running the country with Darth Vader pulling his strings. So how is it – and this is what really galls us – that he has barely aged in the six-plus years since being elected by the Supreme Court? The demanding and stressful job of president typically adds years to the appearance of the person holding the office, but Bush looked every bit as fit and trim last week when he commuted the sentence of Scooter Libby as he did the day he pulled the switch on the last of the 153 people he put to death in Texas. His smile is just as radiant today as it was March 20, 2003, the day he dropped the first bomb on sleeping children in Baghdad. At age 61, he hasn’t lost a single hair, even as all those on chemo and radiation who could’ve benefited from the stem cell research he banned have lost all theirs. There is a theory making the rounds of the blogosphere that he doesn’t age because he is the devil, but I’m not buying it. That would be an affront to Satanists everywhere. If, however, there is a hell, one might argue that he has a special place reserved in his name. All I know is this: Many of us are getting ulcers, going bald and watching our blood pressure go through the roof worrying about the fate of our country and the planet, while this guy’s out dancing. We’re growing old by the minute and he’s gone fishing or playing golf. We’re asking where’s the justice and he and Rove are playing pull-my-finger. God, grant me the serenity… 563, 562, 561….
Ogi may be reached at email@example.com, heard Tuesdays at 9:30 a.m. on “The Dusty Dunn Show” on WGOS 1070 AM, and seen on “Triad Today” Fridays at 6:30 a.m. on ABC 45 and Sundays at 10 p.m. on WMYV 48.