Jill Jackson’s Hollywood

by Jill Jackson

HOLLYWOOD…Everybody out here buzzing about Dr. Denis Leary’s book Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid (Plume). A quote from his pages says, “I’m sick of low-esteem and fake fat-suit-wearing female talk-show hosts and extreme makeovers and Cats the Musical and cats in general and Paris Hilton and Reese Witherspoon movies and celebrity rehab and Dr. Phil and almost everyone else I can think of.” He goes on and on with his hates and quips in a read that turns out to be fun.

Barbara Walters is truly amazing. The lady is almost 80. What with a few nips and tucks and a golden hairdo, she looks many, many years younger and very pretty. And she does get around. Parties, talk shows, dates, etc. and etc. Her next big appearance will be presenting the Founders Award to David Frost at the International Emmy Awards in New York. PS: If you ever get a gander at her legs, they could top any showgirl’s.

Aside to Pearl B. of Madison, Wis.: I’m still trying. I’ve written to Larry King after hanging on the phone for hours, and we still haven’t had an answer as to how many pairs of suspenders he owns. Have patience. One of these days you will get your answer.

The big news from the Motion Picture Academy is that come March, the Oscars will have two hosts for the first time. Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin will be those hosts. One a somewhat serious personality, the other on the comic side. And although it’s only November, the push for votes is already in high gear. We’ll let you know whomever and whatever turns up.

Try this at your next spelling bee. Rade Serbedzija has landed two roles. One in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and the other a Georgian war project. His past roles have included Eyes Wide Shut and Snatch. Serbedzija had better do something about a name change. It’s driving me bonkers trying to spell it, and I’m certain other journalists feel the same way.

Aside to Lois D. Malibu, Calif. Television is not my beat, but I Rade Serbedzija do watch the late shows when I’m away from my typewriter. (Yes, I said typewriter. I still use my tried and true Olivetti.) Now, you asked if I didn’t get annoyed with all of Conan’s mannerisms, like clasping his hands and bowing and bowing? Yes, I do. So I turn to Dave, who also uses his hands. Then, of course, there’s always Jay Leno, who rarely takes his hands out of his pants pockets. So, why don’t you try him? You might like him.

BITS ‘N’ PIECES: Interesting. Who are the most portrayed characters on the screen? Some are Sherlock Holmes (211 times), Napoleon (194 times), Frankenstein (199), Dracula (161), Abraham Lincoln (137) and Tarzan (99). That’s enough for now. … Lindsay Lohan always makes news. This time her house was broken into and many valuables taken. Lindsay was probably nightclubbing, and the robbers knew it was safe to enter. … Meanwhile, Paris has been quiet, and Britney has been quiet. And that’s it for now.

(c) 2009 King Features Syndicate