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[NEWS OF THE WEIRD]

by Chuck Shepherd

Roach Motel

• At age 20, Kyle Kandilian of Dearborn, Mich. has created a start-up business to fund his college expenses, but it involves a roomful (in the family home) of nearly 200,000 cockroaches. The environmental science major at University of Michigan- Dearborn breeds species ranging from the familiar household pests, which he sells on the cheap as food for other people’s pets, to the more interesting, exotic Madagascar hissing roaches and rhino roaches, which can live for 10 to 15 years. (Kandilian told the Detroit Free Press in July that of the 4,000 cockroach species, only about a dozen are pests.) Why not choose a more conventional “pet”? Because “[m]ammals smell,” he said. (Missing from the Free Press story: details on the likely interesting initial conversation between Kyle and his mother when he asked if he could have 200,000 cockroaches in the house.)

Can’t Possibly Be True

• A 55-year-old woman in the Netherlands seemed to be experiencing orgasms emanating from her foot, she said, and Dr. Marcel Waldinger of Utrecht University (writing in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, online in June) produced a possible explanation. The applicable left foot nerve enters the spinal cord at about the same level as the vaginal nerve, Waldinger wrote, and the woman’s recent foot injury might have caused the nerves to cross. The woman reported “five or six” orgasms per day that felt exactly like “regular” orgasms and, she said, were making her feel terribly guilty and embarrassed. After treatment with a nerve anesthetic, she reported being orgasm-free (in the foot, at least) for eight months.

• An unnamed restaurateur from Nagoya, Japan has filed a lawsuit against an affiliate of the country’s largest organized crime syndicate, Yamaguchigumi, demanding a refund of “protection” money she had been paying for more than 12 years (in total, the equivalent of about $170,000). The affiliate, Kodo-kai, burned down a bar in 2010, killing people, in a similar protection arrangement that went bad, and the plaintiff said she, too, was threatened with arson when she decided to stop paying. According to an expert on Japanese “yakuza,” a relative of one of the victims of the 2010 fire may also sue Kodo-kai.

Unclear on the Concept •In June, following his guilty plea in Corpus Christi, Texas, to possession of child pornography, Jose Salazar, 70, offered to perform public service to reduce the 12- year sentence a federal judge had handed him. Salazar said he “had a lot to offer society,” according to an Associated Press story, and could be “useful” in mentoring children.

• Actually, it might enhance the experience: The British sex toy manufacturer Ann Summers issued a recall in June of a certain model of its popular Ultimate O Vibrator because of a problem with the electrical charger. The company said it was being cautious but that the risk of danger is low.

Inexplicable

• Tina Marie Garrison, 37, and her son Junior Lee Dillon, 18, of Preston, Minn., were charged in June with stealing almost $5,000 worth of gopher feet from the freezer of a gopher trapper in Granger, Minn. and selling them for the local offered bounty of $3 per pair. Garrison, Dillon and the victimized trapper were friends, and it was not clear why the thinly populated gopher-foot market would not have deterred Garrison and Dillon.

Strange Old World

• The best of the international press: In July, the governor of Gorontalo province in Indonesia decreed that female secretaries should be replaced immediately with males. He was responding to a recent excessive spate of extramarital affairs by male bureaucrats with their female secretaries. (“[O]ld women who are no longer attractive” could also be hired, he said.)

People With Issues

• (1) Gerard Streator, 47, pleaded guilty in June in Waukesha, Wis. County Court to public lewdness and placed on probation after his arrest last year of going through the motions of intercourse with a discarded couch on a public street. An off-duty police officer thought initially that he had caught a couple, but on closer inspection, he realized Streator (who was aroused) was alone. (2) The day before, in Ostersund, Sweden, a 35-year-old man was arrested after a surveillance camera revealed him to be the one who repeatedly punctured Per Edstrom’s bicycle’s tires and who that evening was seen sitting on the bicycle pleasuring himself.

© 2012 Chuck Shepherd. Universal Press Syndicate.

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