Ogi Explains His Lessons on All the Duh’s Men
A couple of weeks ago in this space I commiserated about the sad state of affairs we as a nation find ourselves in, further lamenting the fact that my Democratic brethren are too spineless to throw out the two scoundrels who caused it.
This week I’d like to take it all back.
So call me a flip-flopper but, believe it or not, I actually see a glimmer of hope. It’s faint and indistinct but it’s there. I am sensing a scenario that is vaguely familiar, almost a déja vu experience. It has something to do with powerful men being humbled, of being questioned by other powerful men, yet men of some integrity, about some sort of cover-up. Maybe a burglary was involved, but it seemed that a noose was tightening around the neck of the most powerful of the bunch as he kept hollering, “Executive privilege,” whatever that means. Folks were asking things like, “What did he know and when did he know it?” One of the principals involved mentioned that a cancer was growing on the presidency. Or something.
Ah yes, it’s all coming back to me now. It was that thing that started out as four-inch stories buried deep within the back pages of the Washington Post about some “third-rate burglary” in a fancy DC hotel called the Watergate. It was the scandal that exposed Richard “The Dick” Nixon as a manipulative, lying, self-important flim-flam artist and eventually and justifiably drove him from office.
We all knew George “Duh” Bush somehow missed all the lessons of Vietnam, and now we discover that he must have been AWOL during Watergate as well. I swear, if you didn’t know better you’d think that someone was handing him a script on how to repeat every Nixonian mistake in the book. This is almost too good to be true.
First you dismiss the charges as pure partisan politics, a witch hunt, a fishing expedition. Then you poke out your chest and dare Congress to subpoena your aides. Get downright indignant about it. That’s all part of the Nixon strategy that Bush has mastered so well, to wit: Tell the Big Lie and stick to it. No matter what the facts point to, do not deviate from the storyline. In the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, stick to your guns.
Then cite executive privilege over every piece of information that Congress asks for. Cite it until you’re blue in the face, and then cite it some more. Ignore the fact that a conversation between two aides while you’re not even in the room is not protected under executive privilege. Tell Congress you’ll let certain aides talk, but not under oath, for that would be too much of a circus atmosphere. You know, klieg lights and all.
When pressed about the missing 16 days of e-mails, just as Nixon did about the 18 minutes of blank tape, either blame your secretary or play dumb. In Bush’s case, playing dumb might be the better option (insert joke of choice here), but the public may not be buying it this time around.
So then it will be time to play your trump card: Blame the liberal media, particularly those Eastern, elitist, big city papers. They’ve been out to get you all along and now they’ve concocted this story about covering up the real reasons you fired those incompetent lawyers.
Oh, what the heck, go ahead and hire Fred Fielding as your mouthpiece. He’s been around the Watergate block before. Maybe the media won’t put it together, being the loopy liberals that they are.
The juicy irony of it all is that the dismissal of the eight US attorneys is about the least grievous of all the impeachable offenses he has committed. This pales beside twisting intelligence to justify taking the country to war. It can’t hold a candle to falsifying scientific evidence that supports global warming to placate his oil baron buddies. This is peanuts compared to suspending habeas corpus, the right to privacy and other Constitutional guarantees. This is not even on a scale of signing waivers claiming he has the right not to enforce acts of Congress.
But, hey, we’ll take what we can get. If this is the one that hangs him, God bless America.
Mercifully for us, maybe we have given him just enough rope to hang himself. But the key – and Bush knows this – is getting Rove and Miers under oath. They know where all the bodies are buried and cannot, under any except the most controlled of circumstances, be allowed to testify under oath.
Therefore, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bush pull a variation of Nixon’s “Saturday Night Massacre.” No doubt, Attorney General “Lap Dog” Gonzales would fire whomever Duh told him to, but how do you fire a senator or congressman?
So, we are left with the specter of Bush and Cheney “twisting slowly, slowly in the wind.”
Comes around, goes around.
Ogi may be reached at email@example.com, heard Tuesdays 9:30-10 am on “The Dusty Dunn Show” on WGOS 1070 AM, and seen Fridays 6:30-7 a.m. on ABC45 and Sundays 10-10:30 p.m. on MVY48 on “Triad Today” hosted by Jim Longworth.