Reasons eminem should stop making music

by Joe Murphy

It’s now embarrassing to be a fan

There was a kid at my middle school who could spit any verse from The Slim Shady LP on command. No original Eminem fan I know is even willing to download his newest, Recovery.

He’s not funny anymore

Eminem outraged every kind of politically correct censors there with his violent, misogynistic and homophobic lyrics. While that raised legitimate questions about censorship and artistic expression back then, at the time Marshall Mathers was the product of a broken home with an addicted mother and was a single father with a habit of his own. He had reasons to be angry. But now he’s filthy rich and has no one to blame for his problems except himself. But his new album is still littered with misogyny, homophobia and hypothetical violence. much discount the rest of his output since. To hear him as an unsigned artist, look up his early freestyles, or just reacquaint yourself with the tracks he did with Dr. Dre like “Guilty Conscience” and “Forgot About Dre” (Dre only co-produces one track on Recovery).

He was an icon he’s not an outsider anymore

This might explain part of Eminem’s initial He is a part of the culture that he criticizes appeal. Before mp3s, Napster, burned CDs and as a result has lost his credibility and and way before torrents; we used to have authenticity… homey sold out, I guess. His to buy CDs. To get our hands on the first new record was spun over highlights of the two Eminem records—with Tipper Gore’s World Cup on ESPN; and if ESPN is giving “Parental Advisory” bars tattooed in the cor- your album pub, then you’ve been stamped and approved by Disney.

He’s outlived his relevance

His first two albums talked about the trialsand tribulations of school and bullies, problemswith his ex and drugs. Now, he’s stilltalking trash about irrelevant celebrities, asif anyone cares. The fact that he never ODedin the last 10 years with the access to moneyhe had is impressive. But maybe he wouldhave been better off taking the same route asCobain, Biggie and Tupac and checked out atthe top of his game.

He is still going for the same demographic

Ultimately the issue is that Eminem hasnot matured as an artist. When he was just ascrawny kid from a trailer park in Detroitit was funny when he talked about BritneySpears — when she was relevant — andjoked about sodomizing Jennifer Lopez.But making fun of Brooke Hogan and somescrub from “American Idol” just shows thathe is still relying on the same gimmick.Maybe that’s because his main demographicis still adolescents?

He hasn’t ‘Recovered’ yet

You would think that an album titled Recovery would at least take a stab at introspection. Em’s been rich and famous for upwards of 10 years now and though it’s hard to mature in the glare of the spotlight, he’s still angry, confrontational and blames others for all of his problems.

He suffers from reverse Radiohead syndrome

The quality of Eminem’s records has regressed with each new release. Radiohead’s first record was forgettable but their work since has been consistently excellent. This syndrome also afflicts Weezer, yet Eminem and Weezer still get major label releases and the corporate music industry wonders why it is dying. P.S. Marshall, if you somehow end up reading this and it pisses you off, well, I “Just Don’t Give A F**k.”