Rock-92’s Bubba’Lympics 2008 is wilder, wider than ever

by Mark Burger

Wilderand definitely wider than ever before, the eighth annual Bubba’Lympicscompetition was held Sunday at Wet ‘n Wild Emerald Pointe. The event, borne of the popular “Two Guys Named Chris” morning radio show on WKRR-FM Rock-92, has become one of the station’s and the water park’s most popular events. Chris Kelly and Chris Demm, thetwo guys named Chris themselves, again emceed the event, and yourstruly was delighted and honored to again be called upon as a judge.Having knocked out the 48-Hour Film Project and Bubba’Lympics thissummer, I’ll be awaiting the phone call to be selected for the jury atCannes next year. The individual events at this year’s Bubba’Lympicsincluded such old favorites as Spam sculpting, toilet-seat horseshoes,the cannonball jump, bobbing for pig’s feet and musical rafts. A newevent this year was “Grab Your Melons,” in which contestants wouldattempt to retrieve a watermelon (with each contestant’s specificnumber painted on it) at one end of the pool and bring it back to theother. Hey, you try swimming with a watermelon and see how easy it is!Of the 11 burly contestants, eight were returnees from last year’scompetition, including winner Big Jimmy and runner-up Big Scotty. Showmanship,which goes a long way in the judges’ scoring, was at an all-time highthis year. Attendance for the event was also as large (no pun intended)as it’s ever been. Some of the contestants brought their own cheeringsections with them, many brandishing (purposely misspelled) signs orother props that proudly proclaim them as individual Bubba boosters. Asfor the contestants themselves, this is one of the few “sporting”events in which flab is encouraged. The bigger the better. It wasobvious that some of the returning contestants took that adage to heart— and to belly. A pretty sight? Not

really.An impressive sight? Depends on what your definition of impressive is.One thing’s for sure: The contestants let it all hang out. With thecombination aroma of pig’s feet and Spam — which many would rightlydescribe as a “stench” — wafting through the air, the judges made theirdecisions and the results were tallied. Once again, it wasamazingly close, with only four points separating the top fourcontestants. Fat Boy and Smitty, both rookies this year, showed theirchops by finishing fourth and third, respectively. But, in analmost exact reprise of last year’s results, Big Jimmy retained hiscrown for the second straight year, followed once again by Big Scotty.This warmed the hearts (or maybe that was heartburn?) of Big Jimmy’scontingent of followers, the Blues Creek Militia. Big Scotty expresseddisappointment but vowed, much as Gen. Douglas MacArthur once did, thathe would return. For all the details (including photos!), see www.


Ifyou happened to read my cover story on the Dot Matrix Project lastmonth (it was good), the next such event will take place Thursday atthe Green Burro Sports Bar (106 W. McGee St., Greensboro). The bands performing, and being recorded and filmed, will be Possum Jenkins and Tom Beardslee. Theshow starts at 8 p.m., and you may find yourself part of the show (orsubsequent music video) as the filmmakers and photographers do theirbest to capture the live concert experience. For more information about this event (and the project overall), see www.

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Clockwisefrom right: The Boogie Woogie Man from Rider’s in the Country. Deidrafrom the “Two Guys Named Chris” show holds up some yummy Spam. Some ofthe world famous Hooters Girls, including our friend Ashley, center.