Archives

Ten Best: Reasons to buy my car or cat

by Amy Kingsley

Help a girl out

Look, I’m 29-years-old and enough of a feminist to know that “girl” is not the proper label to affix to a professional embarking on the next stage of her ca reer — in Las Vegas, baby! But I’m playing the needy card here. I can’t take both of my cats with me, so I’m looking for a good home for Motown, a two-year-old female tabby cat with a quirky/sweet disposition. My car, a 1994 Mazda MX3, also needs a home, although I’m less particular about the relative merits of the person who takes it off my hands.

It runs good

For a car with almost 170,000 miles, the old Pulsar (as Andrew K. Dudek calls it) has been surprisingly solid. My boyfriend and I even drove it all the way down to Austin, Texas in the formative months of our relationship and didn’t suffer a single mechanical meltdown. The bottom line: this thing will get you from Point A to Points B, C and D. I can’t make any promises about E, F and G.

Vitruvian Cat

If Leonardo da Vinci had an interest in divining the proportionally perfect cat, I’m sure whatever he came up with would have looked a lot like Motown. She’s small, sleek and classically patterned with whorls and leopard spots. Her personality is also typically feline — she’s not terribly cuddly and prefers a good head scratch to a baby-style cradling.

It’s cheap

I’m only asking $800. Someone willing to put a little work into it might get several more years of life out of her yet. And if you aren’t willing to put a lot of work — well, you’ll still have a decent car to drive around for a while. Maybe you want to pimp it out. You’d have to start by replacing the missing spoiler and hubcaps, and then you could add butterfly doors, rims, whatever. The Pulsar is yours, so have at her.

Pest control

Motown’s passion for the small game hunt rivals that of any orange-and-camo-clad buck hunter. Mice, moles, rabbits, birds, bugs, whatever. She’s as good as a barn cat in that regard, picking off all your unwanted (and occasionally wanted) wildlife. Mercy, however, is not in her behavioral vocabulary, particularly when it comes to mice, which she likes to knock around for a while before slaying. I abandoned my efforts to keep her inside after about a year when it became clear that her will to go outside was stronger than mine to keep her in. So she spends spring and summer days outside and comes in every night at dinner.

Storage

With a little ingenuity, you can fit a 15-inch bass cabinet and an entire seven-piece drum kit into the back of that hatchback. For almost as long as I’ve had her, the Pulsar has been an integral piece of the Dawn Chorus machine — one half of the fleet responsible for taking our gear to gigs in Boone, Carrboro, Raleigh and Winston-Salem.

She’s so cute

Motown’s not all cold-blooded killer. Other favorite activities include sunning, scurrying under the bed sheets, eating catnip, hallucinating, drinking from the faucet, hanging out in steamy bathrooms and teasing the dog.

Gas mileage

My gas gauge went out a while ago, forcing me to reset my trip meter every time I fill up so I know when I’m nearing the end of a tank. The upshot of this is that I have a pretty good idea what my gas mileage is, and I’d say it averages about 30 miles per gallon. The gas light still works, by the way, which is handy if you forget to reset.

Low maintenance

I had Motown fixed and inoculated, so she’s ready to go home to her new owner today — for free. Even

though she earned her name by releasing unearthly howls during her first day living with me, she has quieted down since and rarely raises her voice above a squeak. As long as she has food, occasional atten tion and access to the outdoors, she’s a pretty happy cat, and one that will bring you lots of joy.

Limited edition

This is both a blessing and a curse. Mazda stopped selling the MX3 in the United States in 1996, which means that modifications can be hard to come by. The car has its share of fans, some of whom contribute to a Canadian website devoted to the model, www.mx-3.com. Its passage into rarity means that collec tors are starting to keep an eye out. If any of you are reading this piece right now, please e-mail amy@yesweekly.com. EDITORS NOTE: The car sold right before press, but Motown can still be yours!

Share: