The Republicans’ disgrace


We were going to leave it alone.

You hear us, people? We weren’t gonna go near the Foley IM scandal, weren’t gonna touch it with a ten-footer.

For one, it’s something of a softball – it’s way too easy to make fun of an aging, powerful white guy (and a Republican, to boot) who’s got a thing for hairless teenage boys.

For another, since the scandal started picking up steam on a Monday as we went to press, we figured that by our next issue every pundit in the land would have had his way with the story,

And frankly, don’t we have more important issues to talk about? The nation is at war; the real estate market is threatening to implode; Rosie O’Donnell is back on TV. Are we really gonna squander our one editorial shot a week on throwing a dead man under a bus?

Apparently we are.

Because it seems that only scant minutes after we decided not to go after this twisted sister that the spin monkeys started at it and, as the kids say, it was on like Grey Poupon.

It started out of Foley’s own camp last Monday, when the congressman and his people blamed it on booze.

Booze! That explains it! Guy’s been thumbing naughty IMs to teenage boys because he’s a drunk! And he was molested as a child! By a clergyman! Happens all the time!

He also wants us to know that he’s a gay man, an admission that could always trigger some sympathy from the left and in the here and now has even softened the hearts of some members of his own party. And, of course, their apologists.

Apologists like Rush Limbaugh, who believes that the whole thing is a simple persecution: “It’s all coordinated, and it’s all’… oriented toward the election. There’s no concern about the kid.”

Matt Drudge made the revelation on his website late last Wednesday night that one of the pages was 18 years of age when the congressman sent him an IM about his “package” and his level of “horny.” Drudge later called the incident a “prank.”

And our girl Ann Coulter likened the lewd exchanges (lewd even by our standards) to “asking a kid what he wants for his birthday.”

So at this point we feel the need to step in, even if it’s just to say this: Yes, this was the biggest October Surprise in recent memory. Still, this is not an issue that can be spun to any positive effect. It is not a partisan issue, nor is it an un-American ploy. This is an elected official texting homoerotica to young employees, minors in some cases, inquiring about their genitalia and sexual habits. We don’t care if the guy’s GOP. We don’t care of he’s a drunk or a homosexual. What’s relevant is that he’s a perv who used his authority as an elected official to compromise underage boys.

Not even Karl Rove can polish this turd. And yet, we have faith that he will try.