There’s an Islamic fascist under every bed

by Ogi Overman

The Duh administration reached a new low last week. Even for a bunch of bottom-feeders accustomed to wallowing in slime, this latest ploy wreaks of gutter detritus.

We knew it would happen sooner or later, we just didn’t know when. But with mid-terms barely two months away and both houses of Congress in jeopardy, Rove deemed the time to be right. It worked before and with minor tweaking it’ll work again; ace in the hole time, boys, time to play the Hitler Card.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Bush’s Brain has been working on this “strategery” for months. It began rather subtly by issuing talking points to the right-wing bloggers that the new buzz word for terrorists was to be “Islamofascists.” It has a nice ring to it, but to dress it up a bit he told his, er, “boss” (heh heh) that the term “Islamic Fascists” sounded more, uh, official, as if there really were such a thing. So he then dispatched his three finest fear-mongers – who also happen to be the second, third and fourth most powerful men in Washington – to spread the latest version of the gospel according to Karl.

Rummy led off the vitriol parade. Speaking to the VFW (now there’s a hostile bunch, eh?), Rummy equated those who oppose their war on Iraq to the pre-WWII adherents to the school of thought that felt Hitler could be contained, that he posed only a minor threat outside his immediate sphere. He accused the 70 percent of Americans who believe the war was ill-founded and unnecessary of being “morally confused,” implying that only this regime has the moral surety to decide right from wrong. (After all, Bush is the “decider”; he told us himself so it must be true.)

Then Deadeye Dick hit the dusty trail, but no one other than Fox even covers him anymore. Still, we may rest assured that he again echoed the party line, that a vote against the Republicans is a vote for Osama bin Laden and that if the Democrats take over we will all surely perish within a week.

Then, after taking his victory lap around New Orleans which included a photo op with Fats Domino, the New Orleans Saints and a walking interview with NBC’s Brian Williams in which he revealed his “eculectic” reading habits and told a big fat lie (surprise, surprise) that he didn’t know what his secretary of defense had said to the VFW, the Duh himself kicked off a series of political speeches (that he’d said would not be political). In them he lumped fascism, communism and totalitarianism (it took him four tries to get that word out, but he finally made it) under the banner of terrorism. This is the greatest ideological conflict of the 21st century, he told us, again with the moral certainty of someone who can predict what the next 94 years of the century might bring.

Meanwhile, the right-wing sycophants like Newtie and ‘Uncle’ Tom Sowell have been issued their tom-toms and have been out beating the drums of war, as if it is inevitable. Odd that they tell us that WWIII has already started but deny that Iraq is in the midst of a civil war. Hmm.

But back to this word “fascism” that we’ll be hearing more and more as the campaign heats up. Just to be sure that the Gang of Four wasn’t trying to pull a sneaky on us, I looked it up: “Any movement, ideology or attitude that favors dictatorial government, centralized control of private enterprise, repression of opposition and extreme nationalism.”

Yikes! And I thought Rove & Co. was using it as a part of their marketing campaign to Swift Boat America. Turns out they know a lot about fascism. If starting a war on false premises, using warrantless wiretaps on its own citizens, sponsoring secret torture camps, reaping billions off war profiteering from no-bid contracts, paying off journalists to write pro-administration columns and signing waivers to legislation passed by Congress means anything, these guys are pros at this fascism thing.

Wow, how could I have been so wrong? Here I was thinking that they were going to conflate opposition to the war as appeasement of terrorists, paving the way for al Qaeda’s rise to power just the same as those who tried to appease Hitler paved the way to WWII. We lilly-livered liberals who believe that terrorism is best fought with covert intelligence, police action, statesmanship, a united front with moderate Muslims and war only as a last resort are the new appeasers. The John Birchers used to warn us that there’s a commie under every bed, calling those of us who didn’t buy their paranoid crap “Comsymps.” So I expect the Duhites to come up with something like, oh let’s say “Terrappeasers.” They’ll tell us that war is inevitable, that appeasement is surrender, that if we don’t fight them there, we’ll have to fight them here.

Scared yet?

I am, but not for the reasons they want me to be.

Ogi Overman may be reached at