Time to invoke the Overman Doctrine

by Ogi Overman

I never know from week to week which hat I’ll be wearing come column-writing time. It vacillates from pessimist to cynic to provocateur to realist to satirist to visionary to wiseass at the… well, drop of a hat. But one hat you’ll rarely see me wear is that of optimist.

It hasn’t always been that way. Rummaging through some boxes as Janet and I moved, I happened upon some old columns in which I came across as downright Pollyanna-ish. But that was the PD (pre-Duh) era, back when I actually had hope. I flirted with hope again in ’04, before the Swiftboaters came ashore, and allowed myself the luxury of that outlook yet again with the emergence of Sen. Barack Obama. For a few months I actually got rather cheery at the thought of a post-Bush world led by a reality-based humanist. But then along came CRABWOMAN (Crazy Rightwing Alaskan Babe [if the other B word works for you, feel free] Who Overshadows McCain Although Nastier), turning what should have been a landslide into a nail-biter. All of a sudden the most unqualified person to seek high office since Barney abortively ran for sheriff of Mayberry is a heartbeat away from the presidency. But Barney at least had the good sense to step down; she doesn’t. Imagine the thought of this person having the power to declare war with Russia, overturn Roe v.Wade, take polar bears off the endangered species list, establish a state religion, burn books deemed offensive to the state, etc. (Why does Fahrenheit 451 keep popping into my head?) Strange as it seems, Dan Quayle looks good by comparison. Jeez, Admiral Stockdale looks good by comparison! Since Sen. Magoo foisted her upon the country, there is no way to describe the surreal nature of this campaign. In my worst nightmare I’ve never imagined anything like it. If the past eight years have been a bad dream, just think of what the next four will be with this pair of loonies in office. We may as well drop the pretense of democracy and declare Karl Rove dictator. The nadir (so far) came when ABC’s Charlie Gibson asked her if she agreed with the Bush Doctrine and she didn’t know what it was. I kid you not, the woman actually replied, “In what respect, Charlie?” He finally gave up and exasperatedly told her — honest, he had to tell her! — that the Bush Doctrine was (I’m paraphrasing here) the Duh’s notion that pre-

emptivewar is better than no war at all, that perceived enemies are just asgood as real enemies, that Oceania conquered Eurasia, etc. Now, ifPalin was befuddled by the Bush Doctrine, I have another bit ofesoterica that should make her head spin. So happens there is anotherdoctrine out there that deals with preemptive strikes yet has nothingto do with bombs and the slaughter of the innocents. Nope, this one iscalled the Overman Doctrine, and it deals with the notion of PreemptiveImpeachment. Remember at the top I mentioned rummaging throughsome boxes? Well, one of them contained the column I wrote in August2001 calling for the impeachment of one George W. Bush. Although Ididn’t use the term until after he had “preemptively” invaded Iraq,I subsequently realized that what I had been advocating seven monthsinto his “presidency” and a month before 9-11 was, in fact, animpeachment based on indicators more than actual deeds. At that pointhe had already pulled the US out of the Kyoto Protocols, begun hisfaith-based initiatives, cut funding for renewable energy sources by 50percent, appointed unindicted Iran-Contra conspirator John Negroponteas a UN ambassador, cut the EPA budget by $500 million, and on and on.While none of these acts would necessarily be an impeachable offense,it was clear to me that it was going to be a long, dark ride and thatit was already time to begin amassing evidence of malfeasance, abuse ofpower, violations of the constitution, and other high crimes andmisdemeanors. The handwriting (or in Bush’s case, scribbling) wasalready on the wall. They laughed at me back then. No one’s laughingnow. So now let’s imagine that the worst is going to happen and beginpreparing in advance. She has already been caught in provable,demonstrable lies and shown herself to be uninformed and incompetent,merely parroting talking points provided by Rove’s toadies. Asmuch as I hate to say it, I’ve been right before and I’m right again.When no one else dared mention it, I was on the vanguard. Okay,I still believe Obama-Biden can and will pull it out. But who knowswhat other dirty tricks Rove has up his sleeve. He blindsided us withCRABWOMAN; God only knows if he has any lower boundaries. We’ve had ourhopes dashed twice before and a third term would be a disaster beyondcomprehension. May God have mercy on us all.

Ogi may be reached at ogiman100@ and seen on “Triad Today” hosted by Jim Longworth on ABC 45 at 6:30 a.m. Fridays and on WMYV 48 at 10 p.m. Sundays.