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by YES! Staff

News and views from inside the media bubble

Southern-fried pride

In a recent study cited in the News & Record, fried and processed foods were linked directly to strokes. Of the diets studied, there were five classifications of food: convenience, plant-based, sweet, alcohol and, you guessed it, Southern. I’m sure we’d all be shocked to learn that the Southern diet’s main staple is fried food.

The study was conclusive: People who consistently eat fried foods are more apt to die of stroke. Plantbased diets are healthier. Alcohol and sweets, when used constrictively, are fine though not healthy. Convenient, fast foods should be avoided, but the worst of them all, by far, was the Southern diet: hamburgers, fried chicken, fried okra, fries, tater tots, etc.

All of this should be common knowledge, yet this is the first stroke-diet study of its kind in America. Former studies have linked fried foods to heart attacks, obesity and other health issues, so now we can add strokes to our laundry list of fried-food complications.

All that said, there should be a swell of pride in a Southerner’s chest as he reads that a Southern diet stands out among the rest. There is no Northern diet, no Midwestern diet, no recognition of California, New York or Arizona. Of those at risk of early death, we reign supreme — risen-again as we’ve long suspected we would. A Southern-fried meal may not impress the scientists, but distinction has been our proud tradition well before our diet came under fire. — Jeff Laughlin

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