Will anything be left in two more weeks?

by Ogi Overman

Has anyone heard if the Earth’s orbit has slowed in the last couple of months? Is it just me, or has time slowed down to an excruciating crawl since Nov. 4? I’ve asked this question a thousand times in the last eight years, but this time it’s not rhetorical: Why is this guy still around? Those who thought the Duh had caused about all the damage he could by the election were wrong. Naturally, I was not among that group, figuring that he was not about to slither off into that good night without a few more body blows to mankind. Sneaking in those eleventh-hour favors to big business at the expense of both the middle class and the environment was not enough. Ramrodding through a $700 billion bailout to Wall Street, making sure there was no accountability and no paper trail, while still clinging to his free-market notions, didn’t quite get him juiced. Fiddling while Gaza burned, giving the old wink and nod to Israel to bomb away, did not quite sate his appetite for a neo-con ideology that everyone but him, Cheney and a few true believers admit has failed. Apparently the fact that Hamas is a freely elected governing body is lost on him, giving lie to his rock-solid belief that the spread of democracy throughout the Middle East is the cure for all evils. As the four-person panel on this Sunday’s “Meet The Press” agreed, his obsession with Iraq has allowed the ongoing bloodbath between Palestine and Israel to continue to fester to the brink of major, untenable catastrophe. One can’t help but wonder how far the conflict will escalate in the next two weeks, while Bush sits around with his finger up his ass and Obama constitutionally prevented from interceding. Likewise, with both the domestic and foreign policies of his predecessor in utter shambles, how much can we reasonably expect from an actual leader, one with adult tendencies? And how soon — if ever — will he be able to turn it around, given the debt Duh has accrued and the abyss that we find ourselves in among the world community? There’s a popular bumper sticker that’s been circulating for over three years that reads: “January 20, 2009 — Hang On, America.” We’ve made it this far, but now I find myself wondering if we can make it for two more weeks. Two interminable weeks. I must admit that I did not know until recently that new administrations used to take office in March, but the date was moved up to January during FDR’s term. Like Obama, he was reluctant to take the reins before legally empowered to do so, even though many implored him to run Hoover out of town as soon as the election was over. And now some are seriously questioning whether we should move it up again, even closer to November.

Yes, I know it’s not Obama’s style, but I truley wish there were a way for him to just go ahead and seize the power. Could he not become the de facto head of state, even if in name only? Could he not let Bush continue as the figurehead while packings his bags, yet he is the one who makes the decisions? Rather than the Decider, in keeping with the English language,he could be the Decision-Maker. He could dispatch Hillary to the Middle East immediately and tell Condi to go play piano instead of diplomat. He could send Vice President Biden on a fence mending tour and let Cheney begin assembling his legal defense team for the war crimes tribunal. He could get his team of genuine economic experts on the job and tell Colonel Klink and the rest of the Bush sycophants and toadies to go reenter the private sector now that they’re done their best to plunder it.

A couple of weeks ago a friend who despises Bush almost as much as I do told me to take a deep breath, that it’s almost over. But, like my namesake say, "It ain’t over ’til it’s over," and there’s still time for President Numbnuts to wreak more havoc on humainty before it’s mercifully over.

Just make it end.