ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’m betting that in a couple of months the fates will give you license to play with boisterous gambles and exhilarating risks. But at this particular moment I recommend that you confine yourself to tame gambles and sensible risks. I realize that may be a bit deflating to your rambunctious all-or-nothing spirit, but I think it’ll pay off in the long run. From what I can tell, this is an excellent time to lay the groundwork for the bigger fun ahead.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The oracle you’re now reading normally has a retail value of $49.95. But because of your ongoing efforts to defeat your defeatist tendencies, and because of your dogged attempts to sabotage your sabotage mechanisms, and because of your heroic stabs at defending yourself against your defense mechanisms, you have earned the right to receive this advice absolutely gratis! To generate even more free stuff in the coming week, Taurus, all you have to do is learn how to turn around so fast that you can catch a glimpse of the back of your own head, and how to pat yourself on the back with both hands while kicking your own butt.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Seventeen-year-old Jay Greenberg is a music prodigy who has written numerous sonatas and symphonies. His first CD, performed by the London Symphony Orchestra and Julliard String Quartet, came out in 2006. It’s not exactly a struggle for him to create his compositions. He often completes them in less than a day. “The music comes fully written,” he says, “playing like an orchestra in my head.” I believe you now have something in common with him, Gemini. According to my reading of the omens, there will soon be ripe visions of future accomplishments floating around in your imagination. You should write them down or describe them in detail to an ally or do whatever else it takes to launch the process of getting them born.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “You may want to smash a painful emotion to bits, but you can’t blow it up with a nuclear bomb,” wrote Tsoknyi Rinpoche in his book Fearless Simplicity. What makes the situation even more poignant is that the painful emotion may be based on a wrong interpretation of experience. It may also be caused by some faulty conditioning that got imprinted on your sensitive psyche when you were a toddler. Having said that, Cancerian, I’m pleased to inform you that you currently have the power to significantly dissipate the intensity of a certain painful emotion you thought you’d never shake. To initiate the process, invoke forgiveness in every way you can imagine — toward those who hurt you, those who ignored you, those who misled you, and you yourself.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I can’t exactly walk on the water,” says Russ Crim, “but it looks like I can because I know where the rocks are hiding just beneath the water.” This would be a good trick for you to emulate during the coming weeks, Leo. By doing your homework and some advance scouting, you could put yourself in a position to accomplish a splashy bit of hocus-pocus that will ultimately be legendary. To help ensure that you don’t generate a karmic backlash as you glorify your ego, I suggest you find a way to make your magic serve some worthy cause. For instance, maybe you could walk on water in order to raise money for charity.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When I was 19 years old, a so-called psychic predicted I would die when I was 24. As much as I scoffed at his careless quackery, his words subliminally worried me for years. On the day I turned 25 I celebrated extra hard. Partly because of that experience, I’ve always tried to be impeccably conscientious about how I conduct myself as a fortuneteller. I’ve vowed never to manipulate you with melodramatic prophecies that could distort your free will. So it’s with a cautious sense of responsibility that I offer the following augury: The weeks ahead could be one of the most illuminating and successful times of the last five years.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I suspect that this is a turning point in your relationship with your fantasies. It’s not enough merely to keep musing about them with wistful longing. You can’t afford to continue postponing their activation until some mythical future. If you want to keep them from receding into a hazy limbo, you will need to give at least one of them a big push toward becoming a more concrete part of your life. The universe will provide ample assistance if you do give that push.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Attention all aspiring lottery winners! If you will ever in your life win more than $10 in the lottery or similar game of chance, this would probably be the time. I’m not saying you definitely will. I’m simply suggesting that your odds are better than usual — certainly better than the chances that you’ll be invited by Brad Pitt to co-star with him in a feature film about alien pirates set in 22nd-century Madagascar. On the other hand, the possibility of a dumb-luck windfall is still rather remote compared to the likelihood of other kinds of financial progress. For instance, there’s an excellent chance that you’ll stimulate the flow of good fiscal karma if you spend quality time taking inventory of your approach to money and developing a long-term master plan to promote your prosperity.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Would you say you’re closer to the “happy wanderer” model of Sagittarian, or the “eternal fugitive” type? Does your motive power usually come from the desire to head in the general direction of some attractive destination, or else to flee from every situation you’re nervous about getting hemmed in by? Are you more inclined to shoot at multiple targets, hoping that one of them may turn out to be the correct one for you to aim at? Or do you prefer to identify the best target right from the start, and only then begin shooting? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to meditate on these core Sagittarian issues.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In astrology, the word “quincunx” refers to a relationship characterized by creative tension. Two planets that are in quincunx are like two people who have a certain odd affinity for each other but don’t speak the same language. Imagine an Italian woman and an American man meeting at a party and experiencing an immediate chemistry, even though each can barely understand what the other is saying. I bring this up, Capricorn, because these days you’re in a quincunx dynamic with pretty much the whole world. To keep frustration to a minimum and enhance the excitement quotient, you should try to crack some of the foreign codes you’re surrounded by.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Philosopher Buckminster Fuller said that although we are all born geniuses, the process of living tends to de-genius us. That’s the bad news. The good news is that 2009 is one of the best years ever for you to re-genius yourself, and the month of June is among the best times in 2009. So how should you go about the glorious task of tapping in to the totality of your original brilliance? Here’s one tip. Do what Einstein said: “All I want to do is learn the way God thinks. All the rest is details.”
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Dear Rob: I’ve recently developed a propensity to talk to myself. This is pretty weird. All these years, I’ve barely uttered a few words to myself on special occasions. Now I’m having long, convoluted gab fests, as if the little voices in my head had busted out of their holding cells, run amuck and decided to NEVER SHUT UP! Am I crazy? — Out Loud Pisces.” Dear Out Loud: It’s a good sign that you’re getting all the murmuring background noise out in the open. Not just for you but for many Pisceans, thoughts and feelings that had been hidden or secret are becoming available to your conscious mind. Once you clear out the backlog, the really useful revelations will begin.