How to properly slide into DMs: Instagram Etiquette
By: Raven Davis
The ultimate goal of guys sliding into a girl’s Direct Messages, according to Urban Dictionary, is “to attract their attention smoothly and confidently with intentions of getting know her better.” Unfortunately, some guys attempt to be creative in their approach which lands them in one or all of three places, ignored, ridiculed, or in this blog. Before thirsting in cyber space became a thing, guys simply tried to get your attention with a cheesy pick up line. The worse case scenario would’ve been the guy getting rejected and the girl sharing their corny line with all of her girl friends. But the creation of the Direct Messaging feature on Instagram in 2013 has changed the game, you now have more at risk, there’s the possibility of being screen shot and even a chance of the screen shot going viral. Either way if you aren’t meticulous in your approach, the response you receive will cause your ego to take a major hit. Check out these different approaches of the gentleman, comedian and the creep, and let us know what works for you.
What is the right way to slide into DM’s? Is there a right way to do so?, or should you never try it again? For you to be successful at your attempt, luck just has to be on your side that day. Maybe she happens to want her butt eaten, or is into cuddling with skinny guys. No matter what approach you take there’s chance you can be labeled as the creep, comedian or gentleman or just as plain ol’ thirsty.
These guys are confident they’re going to be successful in their “slide” because they assume their gentleman-like and respectful approach leaves no room for rejection. Notice I said “assume.”
You know what they say about people who write poetry: They are emotional, so we could possibly have a crybaby on our hands. He would really be in tears if he found out he wasted his time writing a poem for a girl that actually likes girls and not skinny, intellectual and emotional guys like him. If he does ever find a partner via sliding in DM’s, she won’t have to worry about him not having time for her, or not showing his affection, after all, he did have time to write a thoughtful poem for a complete stranger.
The thought and effort put into these messages usually snags the girls attention because the comedic value cannot go unnoticed.
From the looks of this picture this guy gets some points for having all of his teeth, and they look pretty white. As for those push ups, he needs more than just a few. But, hey, at least he is willing to put in work inside the gym for her. Cuddling? What girl doesn’t like that? Maybe one day when he slides in someone’s DM’s they’ll slide him back a link to Dictionary.com so he can brush up on his spelling.
Okay, this one was funny, so he gets credit for his comedic skills, and after she finished laughing she may have been offended. She could be one of the insecure girls who gets offended if you even mention their name and food in the same sentence, and he just compared her to the largest meal most people have during the year. Great. Even worse, who says she celebrates Christmas? She might be Jewish. On the plus side, if the economy ever tanks again, he may have a possible career as a stand up comedian.
Then there’s the flat out creeps – the ones that will grow up and not be able to live less than 500 feet from a school. The guy every one is talking about when they say, “don’t be that guy.”
This guy is clearly willing to engage in sexual activity with a random girl from the Internet – whatever floats his boat. “Cat Fish” didn’t seem to teach people very much, and after this blog he is going to be known as the butt-muncher from the Yes! Weekly’s blog post. He could get lucky, with enough persuasion from him she might actually become interested in his services, at least he didn’t ask for anything in return, because what’s better than free?
This guy can keep time, that’s always a plus. Not only does he have some stalker tendencies, but he also plans on showing up uninvited. Who likes uninvited guests? But he does have a nice little half smile going on, the same one he is going to use when he shows up at her door at 12:15. He is persistent, he waits and watches her everyday at the same time, hopefully he isn’t too persistent and doesn’t follow through with that surprise visit, but what girl doesn’t like surprises?